What are some common feelings?

It is hard to feel motivated for sexual activity when you feel tired, depressed, unattractive, tense , or fearful. The changes that occur with chronic lung disease often leave people with at least one of these feelings. It is important for you and your partner to understand these changes and to learn how to cope with the feelings that result.

Depression, sadness, anger and grief are normal responses to the losses that often come with any chronic illness. You may feel that your life is "out of control" or that you are only "half the person" you were before. You may feel you are not able to function at home and work as you did before. Some of the fun activities you enjoyed may not be possible anymore. You may even notice family behaviors toward you have changed . They may be overprotective or distant.

Changes in how you look can make you feel that you have lost your familiar body. Increased or decreased weight , stooped shoulders or bad breath from chronic infections often make you feel less attractive to your sexual partner.

Fear is a common emotion you or your partner may have. You or your partner may worry that kissing or sexual activity will be suffocating. This may lead to avoiding sexual activity.

These are all common feelings. Dealing with these feelings by talking with someone you trust can help you accept these losses and move on. Talking openly about these feelings with your partner can be very helpful . Many times just clearing the air can pave the way to a more relaxed time together. Knowing that shortness of breath during sexual activity, like any exercise, is to be expected can help some of the fear you both may have.

Depression, sadness, anger and grief are normal responses to the losses that often come with any chronic illness .

It is also important to realize that being sexual means more than just having sexual intercourse. Holding and touching each other, as well as enjoying time together , are also important parts of loving and being loved.

Talking openly about these feelings with your partner can be very helpful.

This information has been approved by Mary Gilmartin, R.N . (December 2006).